petercapaldass:

doctadonner:

i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath

and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill) 

I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing” 

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palmist:

you’re currently witnessing a fine piece of procrastination 

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notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

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pinesollux:

when i was a little kid i got bullied on the playground so my mom asked me “what did jesus do when people were mean to him?” and i thought about it for a second and then started crying and screamed “he DIED”

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princepoffin:

tadpole-in-a-tuxedo:

DEAR SWEET GOD

I WAS TRYING TO EDIT THIS GIF:

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AND THIS MONSTROSITY HAPPENED

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GOD ON HIGH HEAR MY PRAYER

this belongs in the beginning of the second deathnote opening

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